Happy Halloween!

Creepy and scary, it's finally the day where eating loads of candy isn't percieved as an eating disorder. So far it has been a mildly depressing Halloween, I followed around little kids trick or treating and then typed out two papers and now I am sitting here in my room, looking at pictures on flickr and writing on my blog. hmmm....yes, there are better things to do on Halloween:( Later I am going to scan downtown and look for costumes for my photo assignment. It should be interesting. I am all bummed out with no exciting news. Sorry.

Hard as a rock

Surrounded by Iowa farm lands the plains disappeared from view and forged to create a forest where Iowa's best rock climbing sprawled. For a first time climber, the challenge was more than enough, as I stared up at the rock trying to imagine being strapped to the ropes hanging idle from the 60 ft. rock. As soon as we placed our backpacks filled with food, homework that would never be touched, and a plastic bag with toilet paper (for obvious reasons), the instructor invited all those to the challenge, I stepped back a few feet. I would climb, there was no doubt, but I didn't want to go into it blindly, I wanted the comfort to see those before me mistake. It was a very selfish reason, I can't deny. After a few rounds, my confidence wavering, I began my first ascend. My heart was pumping like mad, my leg shaking like thumper, and at moments, I didn't breathe. At recovery points, I would rest for a moment, remind myself to take a breath, and attempt to calm my twiting leg(s). Only the first two were successful. While on the rock, I worried and stressed not out of fear of the fall or my life, but of failure. I wanted to be one of the best. For others to admire and for the instuctors to acclaim. In my mind, however, I never thought I could place my foot in the hold or grab the hook, yet I continued out of the pursuit of satisfaction. If I didn't accomplish what everyone else could do and if possible above the average, I would feel like a failure. I passed the flake on the first time, even though at certain points I rooted myself to a hold for longer than a reasonable shakeout. The second climb was much more frustrating, failure occured when I attempted to jump up and could force myself to get pass the difficult section. After the lunch break when I came back to it, I finally climbed to the hook and graced the crevice in the least gracefull manner. My belayer commented on my ability to lodge myself in cracks in very unusual ways. Not sure if it was a compliment. Because of my weird narcotic mannerisms, I had to at least touch the final, third climb, to rest my mind. I knew then, that I had to find a way to come back. As we left the leaf frosted grounds of the Monticello forest, I didn't feel like the best, but I had one more credit and the satifaction of learning to climb. I vowed to myself to return to the rock climbing wall within the next week, to practice and practice, and maybe I would master the rock.

Blur

This weekend went by way too fasttttttttttt. I haven't even touched my homework today. Or yesterday. I believe that is a first in my college career. Mark it. I'll be paying for that later this week. As an overcap, Friday evening I went for a run/walk around Iowa City, it was a beautiful fall day and the leaves were gorgeous. I found a cute street called "Friendship" I really, really wanted to take a picture:) Then I got some groceries at New Pioneer, ate half of them, and fell asleep for a "mini" nap that lasted 5 hours. I awoke at 10 p.m. visited a friend's house, had an awkward experience and then at 7:30 walked to the climbing gym for intro to rock climbing. The class was fun, but somewhat boring until we started climbing and belaying. I failed my first three attempts at the harder climbs and then felt my forearms forgo me. Rock climbing is a funny, odd sport. Not meant for super strong, but then again, one cannot describe the "ideal" build or inherent qualities. However, if there was a guideline, I don't believe I would fit it. Then I watched the second half of the Iowa Hawkeyes football game, in one of the most exciting. Somehow we won in double over-time and managed to bring our season record to 4-5. The students rushed the field in a manner of screams of forgiviness for the Hawkeyes past wrongings. The last weekend's embarrassing loss is erased off the slate. This was followed by another nap and then what seemed like a two hour session of preparing for Halloween. Clue came alive. I crimped my hair, applied two pounds of makeup, and shaved my arm pits. Big steps in my world:) The night wasn't a highlight, but taking silly pictures was fun. The weapons also were essential in creating the "ambience" (sp). Besides taking 45 pictures for my final project (still 20 short), I spent my time on the couch people staring with the fellow Clue gang. One word: Lame. I crawled in my bed at 2:30 a.m. until my alarm buzzed only a few mere hours later at 6:50 for rock climbing. To be finished later...

The Candlestick in the Kitchen

Might I add, Ms. Peacock is in action. After I handed in my paper, which I didn't think was going to happen, btw. I skipped the optional movie and went to the mall, an unusal thing to search for blue and feathers. $50 dollars later, I have a blue dress from Ann Taylor, peacock earrings from Claires, and a long gold necklace with a huge blue stone encrusted within from Gadzooks. The best part, my $5 used, blue, bowtie, grandma shoes from the Goodwill. A few more necklaces and Ms. Peacock will be born:)

Now I can breathe

The stress of this week is subsiding. If this weren't true I probaly would gain 50 pounds and have a face characterized with pimples and zits. Did I mention the crack eyes? Stress does not wear well on me. One test to go today and then meeting with my Chinese friend for an interview. Based off this one person, my group is going to conduct our approx. 18 minute panel discussion, according to Judy. Really though, at the moment I just really need to nap and shower, then when I have enough energy, run. That really should be reversed, but that is how sleep deprived I am. I just know a headband covered my greaseballed bangs can only be wore so many days and can cover up only a portion of my hair. As far as my face and eyes, they still haven't invented a socially acceptable paperbag.

Friends are the soul of life. Does that make sense? Probaly not, suan le (forget it-Chinese). I am on ultra speed stress mode and I am writing on my blog. Who knows what propels me to do such absurd actions. In approximately one hour and ten minutes, I will be seating in front of my Chinese T.A. answering her questions. No big deal, except that I will be graded on my pronunication, sentence structure, and reply. However, the language isn't English, but rather Chinese. Slightly more tricky. After that, I am calling and interviewing some random people about my entreprise story that is due tomorrow at 4:30. Outdoor recreation in Iowa City. 700-800 words and at the moment I have zero. Whoops. Just a slight procrasination. But tonight I am taking a rock climbing course that I finally got into because there was an opening. So excited!!! Yes, I want to jump up and down a few times, but I am restraining myself since I am in the Currier ITC and people already think I am unusual. I don't need to add more adjectives to the list.
This weekend I will stalking anyone with a chicken suit (only kidding). But I am looking for Halloween costumes to photograph for my final project. Festivals in small town America. It's going to be awesome! This week is slightly odd.

Xianzai (now)

School is stress. I=stress. Certain recent events in my life have led me to my current mood and feelings. Maybe it is a cycle, but I need to get out of here. It doesn't neccessarily mean Iowa either. I want to disappear from my present situation. Since I don't have a car and I have class in 30 minutes, my best solution is to go rock climbing this weekend. Let me rephrase that. Learn how to rock climb. If I didn't have social obligations, this weekend, I actually would skip out on Halloween completely. At the moment, I am supposed to be Ms. Peacock, a Clue character within the group of 6. Not that I want to look "sexy" but I really don't want to spend ample amount of money on grandma clothes, something that I won't ever wear again until I'm 70, maybe. Not exactly worth it. In addition, I feel hostility from too many people (1) amping my frustration. I'm not going to point because it isn't neccessary, besides sometimes I enjoy the motivation. The anger fueld the 6.3 miles I ran last night and that distance still didn't feel like enough, I could have ran 10 and felt perky and still slightly bitter. I function better this way, I determined. The general feeling today is, as my facebook status quotes, Anna is....wanting to be far, far away from here...maybe California.

It's been a long, long, long time...

It was 12 midnight and I was in a bored distration clicking on my "favorites." Not fully intending to, my mouse stopped with a force of a click on Blogger. Almost with regret, my flag whippled as it arrived as its destination. Guilt plagued me for a moment then a wave of interest, hmm....I can still blog even if it has been almost three absent months. So here I am today, 8:15, tired and groggy and craving some ceral with a banana:) Stay tuned there will be more.